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DiggSo... a friend of mine works at a public relations firm.. with fucking APES... aparently they are all ridiculously dumb... He received an email somewhat like this: (my comments are in blue)
*sigh* Who starts a fucking email with *sigh* can you help me with those flyers :(
due to my inexperience in using the chopper (this is an industrial paper cutter that she oh so professionally refers to as a fucking chopper), my attempt at cutting was eventful yet unsuccessful. (*chuckle*) (oh god you're so funny)
The type of paper I used was a bad choice. (no.. the bad choice was the one of the operator)
Do you think you can create 800 flyers on just normal paper. (this is a question.. followed by a period.. an imminent threat to the idiea literacy)
sorry!
So... after getting this forwarded to me... i composed a reply... which my friend, to my surprise, FUCKING SENT TO HER!!!!!! He is now awaiting a "meeting" with HR on monday... i hope he doesn't get fired but he doesn't much care for the job anyway. Here is my reply:
*sigh* Who starts a fucking email with *sigh* can you help me with those flyers :(
due to my inexperience in using the chopper (this is an industrial paper cutter that she oh so professionally refers to as a fucking chopper), my attempt at cutting was eventful yet unsuccessful. (*chuckle*) (oh god you're so funny)
The type of paper I used was a bad choice. (no.. the bad choice was the one of the operator)
Do you think you can create 800 flyers on just normal paper. (this is a question.. followed by a period.. an imminent threat to the idiea literacy)
sorry!
So... after getting this forwarded to me... i composed a reply... which my friend, to my surprise, FUCKING SENT TO HER!!!!!! He is now awaiting a "meeting" with HR on monday... i hope he doesn't get fired but he doesn't much care for the job anyway. Here is my reply:
All her friends always told me "she's actually really nice she just puts that on to protect herself"... fucking false advertisement... worse than when Vag-a-Clean guaranteed a 120% increase in your dating.. but i bit... i bit like one of Vick's dogs... and i gave her a chance. I said i'd drive (escape possibility) and i'd let her pick a restaurant (it was bound to have libations)... I picked her up... she looked, well, plastic. Over-make-upped... over smelly (smelled like a turd combined with that one time i checked my bag with 3 different colognes in it when i flew coach (or as I call it roach) and they all broke leaving my bag smelling like a mix between Gaultier, Gio, and Versace, but anyways, i digress)
ok... first off let's just go ahead and proclaim 151 in a humidifier to be the greatest idea since anal. i mean, there really should be a foundation for such research... the american association for the advancement of alcohol consumption of america (AAFTAACA)... shady... organize this
second of all let's revert back to the highly debated issue of drinking alone:
Pro's:
you don't have to wait for anybody to get ready, you don't have to dress up... nobody to impress but yourself... and to you... you're already very impressive, listening gets harder with every drink... and having to do less of it allows you to drink exponentially more, you can be anybody you want to be because you don't have anybody there that will fuck it up for you... so go ahead, splurge... be a russian prince, a retired internet entrepreneur (www.traffic.com BABYYYY), justin timberlake's designer, porno producer, weatherman for the not-local news station, professional skii'er (come on... there's like 2 of those left), farmer, firefighter, condom tester, fingernail model (get a manicure). Drinking alone gives you complete reason to be an asshole... try this... say the first thing that comes to your mind when you enter into any interaction... true story:
second of all let's revert back to the highly debated issue of drinking alone:
Pro's:
you don't have to wait for anybody to get ready, you don't have to dress up... nobody to impress but yourself... and to you... you're already very impressive, listening gets harder with every drink... and having to do less of it allows you to drink exponentially more, you can be anybody you want to be because you don't have anybody there that will fuck it up for you... so go ahead, splurge... be a russian prince, a retired internet entrepreneur (www.traffic.com BABYYYY), justin timberlake's designer, porno producer, weatherman for the not-local news station, professional skii'er (come on... there's like 2 of those left), farmer, firefighter, condom tester, fingernail model (get a manicure). Drinking alone gives you complete reason to be an asshole... try this... say the first thing that comes to your mind when you enter into any interaction... true story:
Yeah, me and a friend tried it. Tired of the usual beer, shots, wine, etc. we decided that we needed a new, better way to get plastered. Putting water in a humidfier raised the room's humidity to 60%. So why not use alcohol?
We took a bottle of 151 and put it in the humidfier and got ready. Realizing the basic laws of physics we moved to the smallest room in the apt. This roommate wasn't home but we didn't think he would mind.
We made sure to unplug everything and remove all lighters. We didn't want the room to combust with us inside.
We sat there a while with the thing pumping away. Yes, sure smelled like 151.
We took a bottle of 151 and put it in the humidfier and got ready. Realizing the basic laws of physics we moved to the smallest room in the apt. This roommate wasn't home but we didn't think he would mind.
We made sure to unplug everything and remove all lighters. We didn't want the room to combust with us inside.
We sat there a while with the thing pumping away. Yes, sure smelled like 151.
